Hey, dipshit! You know what processes faster than your bloated, overengineered accounting software mess? Plain, unadulterated MT940 bank statements. And you know what doesn't break every motherfucking month-end? MT940 files that just fucking work. Why the fuck are you overcomplicating things with your fancy-ass accounting platforms, you masochistic fuck? You're out here acting like you're building the next goddamn financial empire when all you need is a simple text file with transaction data.
Newsflash, asshole: Dutch banks were doing just fine before your bloated ERP systems crawled out of the consultant sewer. You're out here dropping fifty grand on some fancy-ass SAP module like it's a fucking Lamborghini, just to haul around the same shitty bank transactions you could've processed with a MT940 file from 1995. Why the hell are you jumping through all these integration hoops when MT940's been sitting there, ready to go, since the dawn of the goddamn SWIFT network?
You've gotta be kidding me, asshat. Do you even fucking know how to read a bank statement without the current modern fuckery you lean on? Here, little shit, is your transaction:
:20:REFERENCE123
:25:NL91ABNA0417164300
:28C:1/1
:60F:C230315EUR1000,00
:61:2303160316DR500,00NTRFNONREF//INVOICE456
:86:/TRTP/SEPA/IBAN/NL12RABO0123456789/NAME/SUPPLIER BV
:62F:C230316EUR500,00But did you notice something, you smug bastard? This MT940 shit is the fucking Energizer Bunny of banking. It just keeps going, no fancy APIs or middleware required. Your precious accounting software's out there choking on its own complexity, obsolete before you even finish the implementation, while this format's still kicking ass like it owns the place. It's been here since SWIFT was a screaming toddler, and it'll still be standing when your ERP's just a dusty footnote in some consultant's project history.
Can't make shit readable with MT940, you say? Eat this, you spreadsheet-pushing fuck:
Fucking beautiful transaction data
Why it's beautiful:
Seriously, what else do you fucking need, you entitled prick? A goddamn participation trophy for using expensive software to do what MT940 does out of the box? Maybe a gold star for managing to overcomplicate something that's been solved for decades? Get over yourself, asshole. MT940 works, and it doesn't need your bullshit to prove it.
AI's out here, a gift from the heavens (or at least from OpenAI's nerd fortress) ready to parse your shitty MT940 files in five seconds flat. It can extract transaction data, categorize expenses, and probably even do your fucking VAT returns if you ask nicely. But no, you're still humping your overpriced accounting platforms like they're the last lifeboat on the Titanic. What the hell is wrong with you? Are you that addicted to monthly subscription fees and a support process that takes longer than your last audit?
Sam Altman's AI army is laughing its silicon balls off while you're knee-deep in Exact Online's bloated interface, praying your bank feed doesn't choke on its own overcomplicated API. This isn't progress. It's a fucking tragedy. You've got a shiny new Ferrari in your garage, and you're still riding a rusty tricycle with a flat tire. Grow the fuck up.
Listen up, dipshit. Every-fucking-body in Dutch accounting knows MT940. Your crusty old bookkeeper? She was out there in the goddamn trenches of the 1990s, dodging Y2K bullets while hand-parsing MT940 files to reconcile bank statements. Your senior accountant? He's got a motherfucking PhD in SWIFT formats from the prestigious University of Who-Gives-a-Rat's-Ass, probably hanging right next to his "I Survived Manual Bank Reconciliation" trophy. Your junior? That bastard was mumbling field tags like :61: and :86: before he could even choke out "debit". Shit, even your office intern probably has a side gig parsing MT940 files on Fiverr. So why the fuck are we still stuck answering your brain-dead questions about bank integrations? Jesus Christ, get with the program.
What in the ever-loving fuck is an API rate limit? Sounds like some hipster bullshit a SaaS salesman would spew when your overpriced banking integration isn't fast enough. "Oh, my bad, bro, your bank feed's got a rate limit error". Get the fuck outta here. And "webhook failures"? Are you kidding me? What is this, a tech startup or a fishing expedition? "Yeah, boss, I spent all day debugging webhooks to sync our bank data. Where's my DevOps certification?". Who the hell invents this pretentious crap? I don't have time to decode your API salad, you self-important jackass. MT940 doesn't pull this nonsense. It just fucking works.
Ever seen some motherfucker hire a whole IT team just to babysit MT940 files? That's fucking right. Nobody does that bullshit. MT940 is so damn reliable it doesn't need a 24/7 support hotline like some needy-ass cloud platform. While your bloated, over-engineered banking APIs are out there throwing tantrums every time a bank updates their systems or crying for patches every five minutes, MT940 just sits back, cracks a beer, and does its goddamn job. So next time some slick consultant tries to shove "premium banking integration support" down your throat, tell them to fuck off.
Processing MT940? That's easier than deleting your browser history after checking your bank balance. Just download your files from your bank's portal, and boom. Your whole fucking accounting system can process the transactions. No 12-step integration process, no API wizards casting spells, no fucking OAuth tokens or webhook endpoints. Just download, parse, and you're done. Meanwhile, your fancy banking APIs need a goddamn NASA launch sequence just to fetch yesterday's transactions. MT940 doesn't give a shit about your trendy integration tools. It's the dive bar of banking: always available, no frills, just works. Your API? The hipster café that's "temporarily down for maintenance" every time you need it.
All you need is fucking brains. Every year, yet another steaming pile of shit gets released: blazingly fast accounting platforms that are two features ahead of the previous "revolutionary" crap. Some call it progress. More colorful charts, more animated widgets, and one more subscription to pay.
Fuck that
Just fucking use MT940. I shit you not, it actually contains everything:
Oh, and structured remittance info? MT940. Go ahead, find your dusty calculator behind the stack of invoices and parse this motherfucker.
Perfect for screaming your main transaction data at the top of your lungs, like ":20: FUCK EXPENSIVE SOFTWARE!"
Still important enough to tell your bank account to sit down and shut up.
For when you need to whisper some passive-aggressive sequence info.
Small, but not small enough to ignore, like that fucking rounding error in your trial balance that haunts your every month-end.
Unless you're writing the fine print for your money laundering compliance.
See? MT940's got structure, data, and your expensive software's out here trying to reinvent the wheel, but MT940 already built the goddamn bank reconciliation, you overcomplicating prick.
Think you need your precious banking API for transaction data? Wrong, you clueless fuck. MT940's got all the details baked in:
Expandable transaction details
:61:2303160316DR500,00NTRFNONREF//INVOICE456
:86:/TRTP/SEPA/IBAN/NL12RABO0123456789/NAME/SUPPLIER BV/REMI/USTD//INVOICE456 PAYMENTAnd structured data? Yeah, native, no API bloat. Eat this:
All your transaction details are right fucking here. Didn't even know MT940 could do this, huh? Suck it.
Still not impressed? Fine, fine. Toss in a pinch of parsing logic (right in your accounting software, you purist twat) and you've got native transaction processing. Pay close attention: no API calls, no cloud services, just raw banking power.
Your bank balance is probably lower than your self-esteem.
:20:REFERENCE123
:25:NL91ABNA0417164300
:28C:1/1
:60F:C230315EUR1000,00
:61:2303160316DR500,00NTRFNONREF//INVOICE456
:86:/TRTP/SEPA/IBAN/NL12RABO0123456789/NAME/SUPPLIER BV
:62F:C230316EUR500,00Prepare to be underwhelmed, asshole
This statement is powered by real, raw MT940. No APIs were harmed, because they're useless anyway.
So, what's your excuse now, huh? Still clinging to your trendy accounting platforms like a scared little bitch? MT940's like that crusty old ledger book that's seen every transaction and still balances your books, no questions asked. Cloud accounting is the flimsy tablet that crashes the second you try to process more than ten transactions: overengineered bullshit that collapses under its own subscription fees. MT940 doesn't need your pity or your goddamn fanfare. It's too busy being the backbone of every bank statement you've ever reconciled, you ungrateful prick. So keep jerking off to your latest fintech fad. MT940's over here, sipping coffee, ready to outlast your entire accounting career.
Oh, here comes the genius motherfucker with the big-brain counterargument: "Well, if MT940's so great, why not just use CSV files, huh?". Wow, look at you, you clever little prick. Did you come up with that all by yourself? Using CSV for banking is like using a fucking napkin to mop up a flood: sure, it'll absorb something, but you're gonna look like a complete asshole while you're drowning in unstructured data. MT940 just works, you absolute tool. It's been the backbone of European banking since the SWIFT network flipped the switch, and it'll still be here long after your CSV nightmare is rotting in a data corruption graveyard. So take your smartass logic and shove it. MT940's king, and you're just a peasant with a spreadsheet.
Yes you are, motherfucker
Did you know that when you parse an MT940 file, it doesn't just sit there like a lazy fuck? It actually creates a fucking standardized data structure for you? Yeah, you heard me, you clueless bastard. You don't even have to lift a finger. MT940's out here doing the heavy lifting while your accounting software is still trying to figure out how to import a CSV without corrupting half the data.
Now go try it, open any MT940 file and see the beautiful structure. Boom! There it is, you ungrateful shit. MT940 just handed you perfectly organized banking data on a silver platter, and you didn't even have to beg for it. This is basic shit, and if you didn't know this, congrats. You're officially dumber than a bag of receipts.
This is MT940 flexing its muscles, showing you it's not just some static file format. It's structured, it's powerful, and it's been carrying your sorry accounting ass since day one. Meanwhile, your fancy cloud platforms are out here acting like they're the star of the show, when really, they're just riding MT940's coattails like a cheap consultant.
So next time you're jerking off to your fancy accounting dashboards, remember: MT940's the one doing the real work, and it's laughing at your overcomplicated bullshit.
It's the kind of format that makes you want to weep tears of joy and throw your overpriced accounting software out the window. It's the kind of format that makes you want to quit your job and become a full-time MT940 evangelist. It's the kind of format that makes you want to start a cult dedicated to the worship of standardized banking data. It's the kind of format that makes you want to write a love letter to SWIFT and send it to the banking gods. It's the kind of format that makes you want to build a shrine to MT940 in your accounting department and invite all your colleagues over for a candlelit bank reconciliation session.
— Just Fucking Use MT940
© Just Fucking Use MT940. All rights reserved, you cloud-accounting-loving losers.